Top 5: Tips for Bandwagon Blues Fans

As the Blues take on the San Jose Sharks this evening for the first round of the NHL Playoffs, I’ve noticed an influx of “fans.” I can’t step on the toes of Miss Gabby Bladdick, who’s blog covers Being a Blues Fan 101, but I can make sure you don’t get dirty looks at Scottrade Center.

1. Do not question our goaltending. If I hear one more person question which goaltender is better, I’m going to flip. As a fan, you place all faith in your coach (Ken Hitchcock, if you really didn’t know). If the biggest problem we have as a team is deciding which kick ass goaltender to put in the net, there is NO need to question it.

2. Barret Jackman is the scape goat. Related: Pietrangelo is a saint. If there is a defensive mistake, it is always completely acceptable to blame Jackman. Extra points if you can come up with a clever “he’s better than Brewer” comment.

3. Keep horn honking outside. Yes, it sounds cool when you honk your car horn three times and people respond “Let’s Go Blues!” It’s not cool to hear it for 15 straight minutes while trying to leave the parking garage from 6 different cars.

4. Learn your history. The Blues lost to the Sharks in the first round in 1999-2000 after we won the Presidents Trophy (the award for most points in a season). It’s been eight years since we’ve had a playoff win. Joe Thornton (#19)  is the spawn of satan, and caused David Perron’s 94 game absent. Boo every single time he touches the puck.

5. Stadium Manners: 

• Do not under any circumstances get up during play.
• Related: do not return during play. If there is not enough time for you to get to the middle of the row by puck drop, wait.
• Do not stop in the middle of the concourse. I don’t care if you just saw your frat brother’s cousin that taught you how to play beer pong in 1985.
• If you have purchased a souvenir cup, remove the lid before requesting a free refill. It saves us all time.
• If you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t talk. You’ll just sound incredibly stupid to the true fans, and you’re cover will be blown immediately.
• The National Anthem ends: “And the home of the BLUES.” This is non-negotiable.
• Via Andy: Don’t yell “SHOOT!” the second a player crossed the blue line. There is a reason why they are the pro’s and you are sitting in the top row of section 312 in the upper bowl. They can’t hear you anyway.

Keep this handy guide close, and you may be able to pass as a real Blues fan!

Enjoy the game, and Let’s Go Blues!