Happy Election Day Folks! Being the first election I’m voting in (I was absentee in 2008, hungover and really wasn’t feeling the two hour wait), I ask that you don’t ruin the experience for me. After all, we’re lucky enough to have the opportunity to do so. Therefore, I ask the following:
- Do not shove your candidate down my throat: I do not claim to be the best informed voter, but your forceful opinion probably won’t help improve that, either.
- Remember, political ads have NO regulations: Seriously – NONE. You could say that candidate so-and-so was screwing a dog with a prosthetic leg and they could air it. And if you actually believe claims like that…
- Don’t be a sore loser: That’s what this whole thing has come down to – who wins and who loses, not who is fit to run our country. So if your candidate doesn’t win, chill out. Bitching is not going to magically get him elected.
- Don’t be an obnoxious winner: Same goes for the “winning” candidate. You didn’t just win the Super Bowl on a 70-yard pass. Don’t act like it – just be happy and move on with your life.
- Don’t judge another person’s choice: You have your opinions and I have mine. Do you really think it’s going to help your case if you tell me how stupid I am for voting this way or that way?
Rereading these makes me feel like I’m writing this to grade schoolers. It’s easy – use your manners and just vote. That’s what it’s all about.
The Parks Department 