If you’re anything like me, 2014 is going to be the year of name-changing. I’m lucky to be on both sides of the eight ball – a bride-to-be and a bridesmaid-to-be (x3!) That being said, I have a bit of advice for both sides of the bridal party.
Choosing your Bridal Party:
For the Bride: Everyone will tell you something different, but you have to go with your heart. Discuss with your fiance the number you’re looking for, and go from there. These will be the women helping plan your bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as the ones you’ll be sipping mimosa’s with the morning of the wedding and dancing with throughout the night. If you don’t see your high school best friend or soon-to-be sister-in-law in the bunch, remember: It’s YOUR choice.
For the Bridesmaids-to-Be: Do not pressure the bride! It’s a much tougher decision then people think. Even if you’re 100% positive you’re in, don’t spoil it for anyone else. She’ll ask you in her own time.
For those who weren’t chosen: Now is NOT the time to say something to the bride. This is HER big day, and she didn’t choose you for a reason. Be happy for her. If you cannot stand that you weren’t chosen, it might be the time to reevaluate why you’re friends in the first place. It’s hard, but it happens.
For the Bride: It’s your big day, and if you’re lucky enough to have amazing bridesmaids like mine, they’ll be happy to wear anything you pick. But be practical – not everyone has a wallet the size of Beyonce. If you’re in love with a style, see if the salon carries something similar in a different price range. Or if you’re laid back, let them choose their own dresses! (Thanks Chelsea!) This way, they can find something flattering AND in their price range.
For the Bridesmaids: Ladies – you are not being taped for TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress, so don’t act out! It’s the brides big day, not yours. If you think her shade choice leaves little to be desired for your skin tone, buy some self tanner and suck it up – you’ll be doing the same thing to her someday!
For the Bride: Here again, cost is key. Any bride would love to go to Miami or Vegas for an excursion with their besties, but they’re already buying gowns, gifts and more. Be flexible – if you didn’t think your bridesmaids could plan you a good time, you didn’t choose the right bridesmaids!
For the Bridesmaids: In similar fashion, be cost-conscious. Just because you have a six-figure job doesn’t mean the rest of the bridal party does. Also – keep your bride in mind! You may love a wild night of karaoke and shots, but if she’s the type to stay in with a glass of wine, a spa weekend may be a better option. It’s HER last night, not yours!
For the Bride: You just made a few huge lists of everything you could possibly want for a house, right? That should be the majority of your involvement!
For the Bridesmaids: Talk to the mothers of the bride and groom. You’d be surprised what ideas they have (my mom already has “prizes” bought for games!), as well as location ideas. Don’t let them do all the work, but if they want to be involved, let them! It will only help you in the end.
For the Bride: It’s your day – enjoy it!
For the Bridesmaids: Just as much as it’s the bride’s day, it’s your time to have fun! The bride will need help (really, those big dresses weren’t not meant for bathroom stalls), but what she needs most is for you to have fun with her and her new mister. If you’re the speech giver, don’t stress (and don’t get drunk before the speech!). You we’re chosen for a reason, and now it’s your time to show the rest of the guests why.
After the Wedding:
For the Bride: Don’t forget everything these girls have done for you over the past year. It kills me to see people get married and shut themselves off from the world! These are your best friends – don’t ignore them for your new hubby.
For the Bridesmaids: Be patient with the new Mrs. It’s a lot to adjust to! She may not be able to join every girls night, but don’t give up on her. She trusted you with her wedding – you can trust her to return your call (eventually.)
Any tips you would add? Tweet them to me! #WeddingWednesday