As a Type-A personality, I’ve always set goals for myself. Graduate college early? Check. Get married at 25? Check. Have a baby at 28? Not so much.
One of my dad’s signature phrases, “Life’s too short and you’re too pretty,” never made me think twice. It was typically reserved for small annoyances – missing a night out with friends because of work, having guests appear at my wedding before I was ready to show off my dress. Now, I realize he meant it as a way of life, not something to make me smile.
I’ve been hit with the motherhood bug. Parenting has been at the forefront of my mind long before we added a second dog to the family or moved across the country. Typically, it’s a two-person sport, so when my partner agreed that we can try, I moved “get pregnant” to the top of my list. Ava bracelet? Check. Ovulation tests? Check. Tracking Apps? Ha, like I haven’t been doing that for a year.
What I didn’t account for was the fact that everything that’s been drilled in my head since I was 16.
On average, 85% of couples will conceive within the first year. The first 52 weeks. The first 365 days. What. The. Hell.
I’ve never denied the fact that I’m impatient. It’s clear to anyone who has ever been near me.
I’m 131 days into that first 365. (Yep, I’m counting). The first time I hit my dates on the dot, I spent an entire day mourning my period.
So why am I coming out with this story now?
Motherhood appears in a multitude of ways. My mom couldn’t have kids. My birth mom was pregnant young and gave me up, only to have six more. I have friends with rainbow babies, friends who are suffering through their second miscarriage in under a year, and friends with beautiful, healthy babies. I have friends who are playing the role of mom for siblings, for employers, for their own mothers. My Twitter bio lists me as a dog mom, and I live next door to a proud cat mom. I have friends entering the foster system, friends going through fertility treatments, and friends who have done all of the above, and are still praying for answers.
I share my impatience with women across the world who dream of motherhood. And for me, I can wait 365 days in support of my friends and peers. Because life is too short, and we’re too pretty to think that God doesn’t have a plan for me, and for all the women (and men) to grow in our parenting roles, whatever they may be,